The Play Gap
Right out of the womb, routines become important to babies and their parents. At the hospital, parents log baby feedings every 2-3 hours. Shortly after being released from the birthing unit and into the wild, even more routines are added into the family itinerary. Evenings of bath time, stories, then bed quickly evolve into after-school snacks, homework, practice piano, dinner, bed. Then game day, team dinner, home. The predictability of schedules and routines gives little ones (and their grown-up counterparts) a sense of security because they know what’s next!
Modern parents have had the importance and benefits of routines drilled into them, but guess what? Children also need time for open-ended, unstructured, joyful, pure PLAY. In fact, the lack of unscheduled time for kids to be kids is such a prominent course of discussion that the phenomena has been given its own terminology: “The Play Gap”. We chatted with Christina Schneider, MSW, LISW-S., an Integrated Behavioral Health Therapist at Cincinnati Children’s Hospital and Montgomery Pediatrics Inc., gain insights on some causes of the play gap, its effects and also how to fight back!
Causes of the Play Gap
Overscheduling
Parents genuinely want what is best for their children. In a competitive world, parents aim to give their children a life full of experiences that set them up for success when they reach adulthood. From kindergarten readiness, to discussions of career paths and college prep, kids of all ages face pressures to not just keep up, but stay ahead. This means hours spent studying, working with tutors, and taking on resume-building opportunities. Even when it comes to modern youth sports teams, those, too, have undergone a seemingly generational shift of becoming more competitive. Travel sports require practices multiple times a week, and if a work-out is “optional”, that just means it is not required, but rest assured the coaches are mentally noting who is and isn’t there.
Keeping them Safe
Parents keeping busy schedules for their kids may also be subconsciously building a sense of safety for their child. Raised to have “stranger danger” themselves, modern parents were always taught to be cautious and safe, and many families are facing the realities of more dangerous environments in their neighborhoods and surrounding areas. And in raising their own kids, if they are busy… they probably aren’t getting into trouble! Schneider echoes, “Modern parents are far more concerned about children playing outdoors due to concerns for safety or injury leading to a significant decline in outdoor play. Less outdoor play means much less exploration, time spent in nature, healthy risk taking, and movement.”
Tech Troubles
What about when this busy generation does have a down moment? They definitely deserve a moment to decompress. Many kids are drained from school, extracurriculars (maybe even work for teens), and they may choose to sit behind a screen for a bit and just scroll. Yes, adults are guilty of it, too. It requires little effort, thought, planning or energy, but it still gives a little dopamine boost. Everyone is stressed, uses their tech to decompress, and we end up disconnecting from each other. Schneider notes that, “When play materials are less organic, tangible, or tactile and more often virtual and digitally programmed, there is inherently a shift in the way we see kids playing. The result can be more prolonged sitting in front of a screen, fewer face-to-face social interactions, and less opportunity for individual creativity or imagination with play materials.”
It must be said: the cause of the play gap is not bad parenting. In a society that equates busy with successful (and safe), parents are simply trying to maintain the status quo. Luckily, as a parent, knowing the cause of the play gap is one of the first steps of fighting its effects.
Effects of the Play Gap
The Bad
Schneider reveals that “While there are many benefits to children being involved in athletic programs and extracurriculars, an over-structured or overworked schedule can limit a child’s capacity for rest and recharge, for social connection with friends and family, and reduce time for unstructured play.”and continues, “Some signs of being overworked include excessive fatigue, increased avoidance of participation in activities, difficulty tolerating stress, irritability, increased performance anxiety, withdrawal from friends and family, and less motivation for activities they previously enjoyed.”
The Good
Unscheduling and having free time may have parents concerned that their kids will be bored. But it has been said that boredom breeds creativity. It takes both motivation and innovation to fill the void of activity when boredom strikes. This gives children the chance to invent, imagine, solve their own problems and entertain themselves. Always being told where to go and what to do, kids lose the ability to make their own decisions and become more independent. Experiencing boredom and discovering play isn’t taking a break from learning—it is learning.
Through play, children get to practice social-emotional skills like negotiating, handling conflict, and so much more. Of course when the fun kicks in, they also experience decreased anxiety and improved emotional regulation. Where routines help children feel safe, play pushes them to grow!
Fight Back; PLAY!
Schneider relays that, “Play is the language of a child. When an adult and child—or a child and another child—join together in play, they are immersed in the internal working model of that child.” That is why it is so important to check the busy family schedule and make time for some un-structuring. Whether reducing the amount of activities each week, adding a “do nothing” day or reclaiming downtime that morphed into screen time, families can make play a priority. The benefits of taking a break and playing are bountiful.
“There is immense social-emotional learning: skills are developed, challenges are overcome, boundaries are learned, problem solving is practiced, and compromise is established. Playing promotes healthy development, improves emotional regulation, increases communication, and strengthens relationships.” Schneider explains. In fact, “open-ended, unstructured play is often prescribed to families seeking to improve their children’s emotional and behavioral well-being.”
For Littles
Play doesn’t have to be an adult-led adventure, and truly, should be child-led whenever possible. Kids may experience confusion at first with a “now what?” look in their eyes. Providing some open-ended toys for younger children can help lead the way to play, including: cardboard boxes, art supplies, blocks, costumes, and even nature finds. Instead of giving direct instructions, Schneider says “parents can increase a child’s enthusiasm and engagement in play by praising their child’s ideas, reflecting back what they hear their child say, and describing what they see their child doing. When parents follow their child’s lead in this way, they help their child feel seen, heard, understood, and–most importantly–enjoyed”. It is amazing the games kids will create, and the worlds they will dream up when they’re given a chance to spawn them!
For Bigs
Of course tweens and teens need to play, too! Based on a child’s interests, play could look like: pick-up, no-pressure sports with friends, game nights with friends including escape rooms, drawing, photography, fashion design, cooking or baking, making music, hiking and more. Any activity that gives joy and sparks creativity can fit the bill for play. Encourage new hobbies for enjoyment, not assessment, grades, ranks or trophies!
And adults!
Avoid burnout and spark your own joy, too. Play is NOT just for kids. Creativity, socialization and joy should be experienced universally for humans, so find something that gets your body moving, your mind’s gears turning or your heart soaring.
The play gap certainly didn’t appear overnight, and it won’t disappear overnight, either. But every unscheduled afternoon and scheduled boredom session is an invitation to imagine and create. When it comes to play, practice makes progress… so get out there with the family and have some fun!
