It’s fall, which means I travel a lot for work conferences. My boys hate it because they are used to their routine. It’s much easier to travel in the summer and not feel guilty because there isn’t a set schedule. Now with homework, after-school activities, the lunch fiasco, uniforms, and the never-ending quizzes or tests, I hate leaving them. I have to remind them though (and myself), it just makes them stronger and more independent, and it’s okay for mom and dad to be gone.
I learned a lot on this most recent trip to Michigan. I am not a patient person, I am not flexible, and I am not happy when I am late for something. The last one is my mom’s fault; we were never late for anything, always arriving early because you never know what can happen along the way. I never realized how bad my patience and flexibility were until now.
After we got settled, I couldn’t sleep, thinking of how childish this behavior was. It wasn’t the pilot’s fault the plane engine broke. It wasn’t the stewardess’s fault either, but my inability to go with the flow just blew out the window. I try to teach my kids to go with the flow, and that things happen that you have no control over, but look at me, not setting a good example for my children. Am I so tightly wound up that I act like this when I am at home, and it hits me like a ton of bricks? I always act like this; no wonder my kids have my anxiety, I gave it to them!
New goal: work on my anxiety and learn to go with the flow. I mean, I can preach it all I want, but I need to show it also. This is going to be a hard goal, but I’ve got to change the way my brain works, so that my children can learn to adapt and go with the flow as we always preach. I now understand why they have a hard time doing it!
